A Change of Guard

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Sunday 31 July 2011

An American lady plans to live with her deported husband in Cambodia




Lodi’s Patricia Bou plans move to Cambodia with kids to rejoin deported husband

Source:www.lodinews.com
Posted: Saturday, July 30, 2011
By Maggie Creamer/News-Sentinel Staff Writer

Lodi resident Patricia Bou has spent the past week preparing to leave two of her children in the U.S. and move with her two youngest children to Cambodia.

The 22-year-old does not speak the Khmer language. She has no idea what it will be like in the Asian country. She doesn't know how she will earn money, but she is hoping to earn $1 to $3 a day doing basic work at a hotel and grow her own food.

She is faced with this life-altering move after finding out her husband is being deported back to his birthplace.

Her husband, Bunly Bou, 31, also has little knowledge of the country, having left at the age of 3 with his family as refugees.

He lived in Stockton as a child and then moved to Lodi on and off as an adult. Bunly ran into legal trouble in 2003 for drugs and 2005 for evading police.

During the past four years, he has turned his life around, working at the Lodi Round Table Pizza to support his family.

But last Saturday, his legal woes caught up with him when the United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers knocked at the couple's apartment door off Almond Drive.

He was taken into custody and is scheduled to be deported to Cambodia, leaving his wife with four kids and another child who lives with her mom in Stockton.

Patricia spent the first two days crying.

But by Wednesday, she was pricing plane tickets, finding places for her two older children to stay when she moves to Cambodia and organizing a car wash to raise money.

Her situation illustrates the complexities of the immigration and deportation process, and how it can tear families apart.

"It's pretty scary stuff, but I can't fall apart and say I can't do this, because then who is going to do it?" she said. Coming to America

Patricia met her husband six years ago through mutual friends. She was immediately interested in the Cambodian immigrant. They fell in love and have been together ever since.

Her husband, Bunly, immigrated to Stockton from Cambodia with his family as refugees in 1983.
The government gave him all the paperwork he needed, and told him he needed to file for permanent citizenship after he turned 18 or got married, Patricia said.

As an adult, he worked at a variety of companies, including Big O Tires and Yoplait Yogurt, she said.

Because he had a good job and had a green card, he never felt like he needed to go through the citizenship process, Patricia said.

But then he started getting in trouble with the law.

He received a misdemeanor in 2003 for possession of a controlled substance and then a felony conviction in 2005 for evading a peace officer with wanton disregard, according to his immigration file.

He was sentenced to 16 months in prison.

In March 2007, after completing his sentence, an immigration judge ruled that he should be deported back to Cambodia, according to a statement from ICE.

After working with the Cambodian government, ICE was not able to get travel documents for Bunly back to his birthplace at that time. So they released him under an order of supervision in 2007 with the requirement that he check in every three months.

"We thought as long as he flies under the radar, keeps his job and checks in every three months with the government, he will be fine," Patricia said.

But four years later, the Cambodian government granted Bunly travel documents and he was taken into custody, according to the ICE statement.

"Foreign nationals who are residing in the United States as lawful permanent residents become subject to possible deportation if convicted of certain types of crimes. Ultimately, it is up to the judges who preside over the nation's immigration courts to weight the facts in these cases and determine whether an alien has a legal basis to remain in the country. If the courts order an alien removed from the United States, ICE is responsible for carrying out the judges' orders," according to the ICE statement.

Turning his life around

Despite the knowledge that Bunly could be deported, it didn't make it any less shocking when ICE officers knocked on the couple's door last Saturday, Patricia said.

She called him at work and he asked her what he should do. She said she told him to come home because there is no use running from anything.

He was taken into custody, and the officer said he would most likely be deported in 15 days. She consulted an attorney, but it was too late to do anything at that point.

"We are stunned by this. We don't know what to do," she said.

Patricia contacted his employer to let him know about the situation. She also quit her job at the Lodi Long John Silver's to be with her children and prepare to move.

Round Table assistant manager Marshia Espinoza confirmed that Bunly had worked for the pizza chain for about four years in Lodi.

"We all liked him. He was a great guy. He loved his family, and that was his main focus. He worked hard to take care of them," Espinoza said.

The family contacted the business saying Bunly was being deported, but they hadn't heard anything since, Espinoza said.

One of his strengths is that he never hesitated to work any shift that was available, she said.
"He tried to change his life from being in trouble. We really liked him," she said.

'The worst tragedy I've ever seen'

While sitting on a couch surrounded by their four children, Patricia Bou describes her husband as a loving, compassionate and humble man who rarely gets angry or stressed.

"He's an awesome father. That's why I hate him being away from his kids. They need his guidance, especially my sons," she said.

The two had a marriage ceremony in 2008, but at that point could not file for a marriage license because of Bunly's prior convictions.

They have two children together, and sole custody of Bunly Bou's two older children.

Patricia is planning to leave her 12-year-old son, Saahvin, and her 9-year-old daughter, Annastasia, in Stockton with family when she joins her husband in Cambodia. She will take her 4-year-old son, Bara, and her 2-year-old daughter, Dany.

"Leaving my children is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. ... But I don't want to take them against their will," she said.

Saahvin said he does not want to go to the schools in Cambodia.

"I want to stay here for my education. I want to be with my mom and dad, but I don't think I'll be comfortable there," he said.

The children have been crying every night for their dad, especially Dany, who screams until falling asleep. Saahvin said it is hard to think about his family being split.

"One day I'll be a little bit happy, but then I think about my dad and how it's going to be," he said.

Patricia Bou said it is a hard decision to move with her husband, but she feels like there is no other choice.

She does not think she can support the four kids on her income, and she would feel lost without him.

"He's my rock. When something goes wrong, I always ask him what to do," she said.

Friends of the couple are helping them raise money for the trip. A ticket to Cambodia costs about $1,400.

One of their friends, Robert Darling, said he doesn't understand why they want to deport a family man who has been following the rules for the past four years, has a job and always checks in with the authorities.

"It's just the worst tragedy I've ever seen. They are the best family in the world, and to take him away from his kids and his wife ..." Darling said, before getting choked up. "They shouldn't be able to come and do that."

During the first two days after Patricia found out Bunly would be was deported, she was angry that her husband didn't file the right paperwork when he turned 18 that would keep him in the country. But about three days later, she has reached acceptance.

"If he went about things differently in the past, maybe our future would be better. But we have to move forward, and focus on getting us back on the same soil," she said.

Preparing for culture shock

Before Bunly Bou is deported, Patricia is taking her children up to see him one last time and give him his luggage at the ICE detention center in Sacramento.

Patricia is worried about his arrival in Cambodia because he speaks very little of the language and has not been to the country since he was four.

He has relatives who will hopefully help him through immigration and customs without any problems.

She is concerned that, because he is so Americanized, he will be a target for robberies or kidnapping. She also said it was hard for the U.S. to convince Cambodia to take him back.
"His country didn't want him back because he has been here for so many years," she said.
She plans to move there with him as soon as she can raise the money for a plane ticket for herself and her youngest children. The couple hopes to get a job working at a hotel for $1 to $3 a day. Because food might be scarce, Patricia is planning to learn how to garden and live off the land.

"It's going to be culture shock. That's going to be a huge obstacle to overcome. We don't know how it is there. I'm really dreading (going) there being no education for the children," she said.
Patricia realizes that some people would choose to stay in the U.S., but that is not an option.

Bunly will be able to reapply for citizenship in 2017, Patricia said, and she thinks he has a good chance because she is a U.S. citizen and so are his children.

"God has a plan for everybody, no matter how much this hurts, this is the plan for us right now," she said.

Contact reporter Maggie Creamer at maggiec@lodi news.com or read her blog at www.lodinews.com/blogs/city_buz.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

She's only 22 years old, based on the article, it demonstrates her inability to make decision; the decision she makes is not for her children's welfare. She or other concerned party must reassess her decision for the sake of these kids--not the mother and the husband. Nonetheless, it is a tragic story.

Anonymous said...

America is the land so called FREEDOM. Every man" must know their limitation. This article is a perfect example.

Anonymous said...

People got to remember that the illegal immigrants from Mexico are not approach like this. In fact, every govnerment institutions ignore the fact they are here illegally. As a minority, our vote does not mean much.

Anonymous said...

This is very sad story; family are breaking apart because of the past crime that he served time already. We are talking about the person paid for his crime yet he continues to be punished after he served his time. The sad part, children are the one who is paying the price. None of us can choose the place to be borned. People probably wanted to open their mouth, well if he can't do the time don't committ crime. It is easy to say. Don't you think American committ crime too? Why only punish the Cambodian refugees? You know why they were refugee? America should bare some responsibility of the secret bombing in Cambodia which created the monster Pol Pot regime which led to killings of 2 millions Cambodian. The anger from American bombing, and endorsed by King Sihanouk, KR rosed from 7,000 troops to over 70,000 troops due to US bombing. American cut supplies to the Lon Nol regime which allowed KR to take over the country. How did Lon Nol came to power in the first place? The American again, it backed Lon Nol on a coupe against Sihanouk. The immigration policies torn family apart. Cambodian refugees were systematically placed in the law income, gangs and drug infested neighborhood when they arrived in America. Cambodian children fought their way to school and they usually ganged up as group to protect themselve from being beaten by American kids; it left them with very little choice. Many brought knife to school to protect themselve and were expelled from school. Despite all of the issues, many Cambodian children made through college were able to get good job. However, about 50 percent felt into street life. Girls were pregant when they were teenager, they have to quit school to support their children. As you can witness today Cambodian gansters were arrived from the oppression of American street life. At first, they joined gangs for protection which led to drug and othe illegal activities. Many of them will never return to live normal life. All they know are street life. For those that change their life around, raise family but the law continue to drag them out from their family and placed them into the land that they dont know anything about the culture or language. In 2002 Cambodian government signed repatriation agreement with United States to accept Cambodian deportees. Currently there over 2000 deportees in the waiting list to be deported. Imagine, Cambodia lack of jobs already. How will they survive? Will Cambodia turn into the land where criminal being dumped there without any type of support for them to reenter into Cambodia society. What will happen next? Only time will tell. Deportation law passed in 1996, however it is retroative. If you committed crime when your were young prior to 1996, you are subject to deportation after your served your time. On contra, Vietnam government signed the agreement with United States in January 22nd, 2008. However, Vietnam only accepts individual that came to United States on or after July 12th, 1995. This is the key factor that Vietnam government did serious study before it sign the agreement to take deportees. As you are well aware, many people came on or after 1995 mostly immigrant and less likely to get into trouble with the law. Many of them were here for the main purpose is business. People that came to the United States between1979 to 1995 are refugees. Many of them were borned along the Thai border in refugee camp. Most of them get into trouble when they were young. There are more shocking immigration policies recently expanded the scope of deportation crime which will efect many Cambodian and I expected more number to be deport for minor crime such as shop lifting, drunk driving, writing bad check etc.

Anonymous said...

2:23 am
You talks so good yet not good enough. Your anger,and ignorant can only blind you. The first two comments are not harsh at all. What do you see that bother you? It is just a simple friendly comments. You truly need to lighten up. I am truly sorry for your lack of understanding.May I suggest you need you need more learning from your parents. Have good day na!

Anonymous said...

It is indeed a sad story.

This story would not be possible, if this Cambodian mad had done one simple thing of applying to be an American citizen when he had a chance!

You can blame the US all you want and try to give reasons why Cambodians committed crimes, it won't change a damned thing!

Stay away from crimes no matter what your circumstances are.

No excuses, just stay away from crimes and drugs!

Become a US citizen when you can and take responsibility to do so. It is the simplest and safest way to remain in America.

Anonymous said...

As I started to write more comment and I couldn't help but to question Cambodian government why in the hell they signed the agreement with the United States. Is it money? If it is not money why would you endorse such policy that weaken the Cambodian American community abroad. Vietnamese American are strong in the United States; some already became the Mayor, state representative and congressman. Have you ever wonder why? There are many Vietnamese American and they now can vote and became political candidate in the United States. Although, Cambodia American started to participate in American politic but there is no comparision to the Vietnamese population. The more people being deported the weaker the Cambodian American community will become. The sad part, it doesn't deported one person as you can see in this story. The wife and children planned to move back to Cambodia. You have 4 peoples moving back to Cambodia. Imagine you have thousands of deportees and still counting because the new law most likely will deport individual with less violence crime such as shop lifting, wrote bad check, drunk driving etc. The other sad part, there is no program to help deportees reenter into Cambodian society such as job trainings, housing needs etc. Many of them most likely ended up back on the street of Phnom Penh or committed suicidal which happened already. What happen if Cambodia government cancel the MOU signed with America? I wonder what happen if Cambodia government doesn't issue visa for travel document? What happen if Cambodian government made revision to the MOU so that it is similar to Vietnam government? There are many question that is unanswered. The Cambodian embassy can only stated, Cambodian American needed to lobby with the American government. Cambodian government cannot do anything. Cambodian government only did what was told by American government. I wonder if it is BS answered? President O'bama needed to deport 400,000 deportees by year 2010. I am not sure if that number required falling behind that is why we seen ICE prayed on Cambodian American community. People are running scare; some afraid to sleep at home. It is like KR regime, if you hear the door knock 5AM; you run to the back door. Sometime, they get you while you were sleeping.

Anonymous said...

The Cambodian government signed the deal because of pressures exerted by America.

Why would Cambodia want somebody else's garbages? They think it is garbages and that is why they want places for disposal!

America is a big and powerful country which can make hell break loose in the government politically and economically under various hidden forms so going against America is not a good choice considering the problems the CPP is facing internally and externally.

Anonymous said...

Warrior Blood,

You spent too much time worrying about a simple thing.

You live in America, don't you? Just go out and encourage the Cambodians there to become the US citizens and the whole damned thing is finished.

Boy, you have got lots of time on your plate!

Khmer Circle said...

It's been speculated that the US government arm-twisted Cambodia into signing the repatriation agreement by threatening to impose certain restrictions on wealthy CPP officials' interests in the United States, including, perhaps, those of Hun Sen himself. So it comes as no surprise to learn that while this family's tragedy is unfolding before our eyes, one of the PM's sons has been awarded half a million dollars by the same American government to pursue his elite education abroad.

The US government might also have threatened to cut off that annual aid package to Cambodia that could have serious socio-political implications for the Phnom Penh regime. International aid has got to be a major contributor to the durability and survival of the regime given the dire state Cambodia is still in economically.

Almost 1 billion US dollars every year from this international assistance has given the Phnom Penh regime a massive life-line. Whilst Hun Sen would argue that aid organisations themselves, and not his administration, is responsible for budgeting or spending the aid money, it nonetheless represents a huge cash-flow into the national economic stream enabling various unscrupulous elements to divert much of that flow right into their private or corporate pockets. Even the current American ambassador - Carol Rodley - estimated that every year 500 million US dollars had been swallowed up by governmental corruption.

The irony is that international aid's medium and long term impact in a country systematically mismanaged like Cambodia is, tends to work to the disadvantage of the poorest who constitute Cambodia's vast majority by subsidizing not merely an economy that has been struggling to recover from three decades of destruction, but also the administrative personnel or engine that deliberately and ruthlessly mismanages economic activities out of a combination of incompetence and private greed.

One of the recently fallen regimes in North Africa and the Arab World - Egypt - is another instance of how a repressive and authoritarian regime had been helped to stay in power for several decades through generous US political and financial succour. In his long stay in power, Hosni Mubarak of Egypt had seen off at least half a dozen American presidents. And just like Dr. Hun Sen he had also claimed or witnessed regular electoral 'landslides' for his lengthy stay in office.

Anonymous said...

8:16
You talk so good but not good enough. What part of my opinion had any anger in it? Where? What a moron.

And yes, people need to get their act right and start applying for them citizenships. I understand that most first generation folks was not inform or maybe forgot to ever get themselves citizenship.

By the way,

8:16
You talk so good but not good enough. What part of my opinion had any anger in it? Where? What a moron.

Anonymous said...

Mr. 8:23AM & 5:20PM

Sir, you've got to know your limitation. You should know why you were deleted by the Administrator. Please let go that anger inside of you and please stop calling people name.I know there is good inside of you some where. You must learn from your negative side in order for you to change to a positive person.
Remember when ever you feel any negative toward another person please think twice. It might help you toward self improvement.
Have wonderful day na! :)

Anonymous said...

Thank you to Khmerization for deleted the unfriendly comments.

Anonymous said...

She is stupid! She will destroy her kids future...Why she has to move to cambodia? Just visiting that asshole once a while...or get another man or something? Fuck that punkass...moron!

Anonymous said...

Living in cambodia is no different living in Hell! There's no jobs and future for her kids...I knew some family visiting her husband twice a year...

Anonymous said...

It is not a wise choice for this young lady to depart away from her children. Her husband need and must learn the responsibility on his own for the crime life that he had committed. He is strong enough to be on his own. She thought her husband was her true love. She need to realize that her children are more important than herself and her husband. Why brought children into this world with out having any responsibly? In my opinion, I think
she had make a poor choice.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, guys. She will come back no sooner than she lands there.

It won't be long for her husband to find a new honey and she will be mad to fly back to the US!

She is very selfish to bring her 2 kids with her to Cambodia. What a selfish girl!

Pissed off

Anonymous said...

2 August 2011 6:48 AM

It is sad to have seen this young girl selfishly made the decision based on her emotion and feeling of her lover--not for the children. Also, it is sad that no one or organization not able to intervene on behalf of her children's welfare.